


calamity

by mistyheartrbs



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Cats, Cowboy Hats, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-04
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 20:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11997090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistyheartrbs/pseuds/mistyheartrbs
Summary: A joke begins and ends with one fluffy ginger cat.





	calamity

**Author's Note:**

> i was talking with my friend fluffymang on tumblr about how nicole probably wouldn't admit how similar calamity jane looks to her and this concept came into existence so i wrote it.

It started with the tuna salad. 

That is to say, it started with Waverly sitting on Nicole's couch, Calamity Jane purring in her lap while some ridiculous show about cowboys played on the television, and Nicole carrying over two plates of the stuff. 

"It's not much," she admitted, "but it's all we had in the fridge." 

"It's fine." Waverly paused, snorting at the overdramatic whistling on the television. "Doc would hate this." 

"Probably, yeah." Calamity Jane rolled over, bright amber eyes blinking up at the two women. 

"I think I've seen this one before," Waverly continued, nestling herself up against Nicole. "That guy dies at the end." She started to reach for the remote when the cat sprung from Waverly's lap and knocked the plate onto the floor, daintily side-stepping the carnage before she picked up a mound of the tuna in her mouth and padded over to the other end of the room. 

"Cal!" Nicole scolded. Calamity Jane responded with what might have been the most smug meow any cat had ever uttered. "She's always doing this. Notice the locks on the cabinets? That's so she doesn't crawl into them and eat the donuts Wynonna keeps in there. She's done it before." 

"Wynonna keeps donuts in your house?" 

"Yeah." 

"She keeps donuts . . . in _your_ house." 

"Yeah." Calamity Jane scarfed down the tuna and licked her lips before strolling back over to the couch as if nothing had happened at all. Nicole gave her another steely glare.

"Erm, _anyway . . ._ I guess when she sees something she likes, she doesn't like to wait, huh?" Waverly quirked her eyebrows teasingly, a grin starting to spread across her face. Calamity Jane leapt back onto the couch. "Come to think of it, she kinda looks like you, doesn't she?" 

"What? Really?" In all five or so years she'd had the cat as her housemate, Nicole had never heard anyone compare her with the feline companion. 

"I mean, she's got ginger fur, and it's really soft-" as if to prove her point, Calamity Jane slipped under Nicole's hand and started to headbutt it for pats "-and you're both pretty tough when it comes down to things." 

"I don't see it." She did, now that Waverly brought it up, but her stubborn streak wasn't going to go away that quickly, and Calamity Jane's uncannily human-like mewing wasn't helping. Knowing this town, she wouldn't have been surprised if the cat was secretly some kind of shapeshifting demon doppelgänger of hers, and the thought of that made her shudder uncomfortably. She liked the cat, difficult and stubborn as she was, and didn't particularly enjoy the thought of Wynonna barging into her house with Peacemaker pointed at the innocent ball of fur. 

"You're just teasing me now." Waverly reached over to scratch Calamity Jane behind the ears, right where she liked it. "You have to see it." 

"Nope, I guess it's just you." Nicole sent the cat a look that she hoped conveyed a sense of _"don't steal my girlfriend or you're not getting second helpings tonight."_ The cowboy movie still drawled on in the background as Calamity Jane settled down in Waverly's lap. 

"I'm getting more opinions on this tomorrow," Waverly sleepily muttered, nestling deeper into the couch. 

_"Tomorrow,_ hmm?" Nicole knew with a sort of certainty that if anyone but Waverly had been sitting next to her, she'd be called Officer Heart Eyes for weeks. As it was, though, it was just her and Waverly and the fluffy ginger cat between them, and so the bad movie faded to background noise in the night. 

***

"Does Nicole's cat look like her?" Waverly barged through the door with her phone already held up, only to be met with Peacemaker's barrel aimed at her head. Wynonna stepped back and set it down hardly a second later. 

"Jesus, we need to set up a knocking system or something," she muttered. "What about Nicole's cat?" 

"Does it look like her?" 

"Yeah? Duh. I always thought that was why she had it around, to weird people out. Damn thing's always gnawing on my jackets." Wynonna leaned against the closest available table. "Why do you ask?" 

"She doesn't think so, and I'm trying to prove her wrong." 

"I'll see what I can do, alright?" 

"Thanks, Wynonna." 

"Don't mention it." Ominous as Wynonna's statement was, Waverly didn't think much of it. 

***

"Is there any _reason_ why I need to prepare for four people coming over?" 

_"Well, it's five if you count me."_

"Of course." Nicole twirled the cord of her old home phone in her fingers, watching Calamity Jane sun herself by the window. 

_"The homestead's kind of a mess right now. Jeremy said he found something weird. I offered up your place without thinking."_ Nicole heard the sound of something clanging and then a muffled _"sorry"_ from Waverly. _"I could call it off if you want."_

"No, no, it's okay." Nicole looked around at her surroundings, the case files sitting on top of dirty clothes and cat toys dangling in places where they really shouldn't have been able to fit. "I'll see you at around five?" 

_"Sounds perfect."_

***

"I can't believe you roped all of us into this," Wynonna groaned on the drive over. 

"Neither can I." 

"You're stubborn, you know that? Both of you. I guess it's why you work so well together." 

"Oh, hey. We're here." 

"So we are."

***

Nicole didn't think much of it when, instead of talking to her, Waverly made a beeline for Calamity Jane and kissed her furry forehead, murmuring something about how she'd missed her. 

She started to think a little more of it when Wynonna strolled in behind Waverly and similarly ignored her, waving to the cat instead with a greeting of "hey, Haughtstuff." 

It had become glaringly obvious what was going on by the time the rest of the group had arrived. 

"Hey, Nicole," Jeremy said, his back very much facing the actual Nicole. 

"How do you do, Officer Haught?" Doc asked, tipping his hat in Calamity Jane's direction. Dolls simply greeted the cat with a curt nod. The whole thing was about as annoying as it was funny, and Nicole let out a sigh. 

"Okay, okay, I give up! She looks like me, I'll admit it." Waverly jumped up with a grin.

"Ha! Finally!"

Calamity Jane just meowed in response. 

***

"Okay, what is this?" Nicole looked skeptically at the box in front of her, poking it like it might explode.

"It's not going to bite you, silly." Waverly leaned on her shoulder, hands folded together as she stared eagerly at the box. 

"What's the occasion?" 

"Nothing in particular." The glint in her eyes told otherwise. "Just a little something special." 

"Alright, if you insist." Nicole opened the box to see a tiny Stetson hat nestled inside. "Uh, Waves?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Thank you, really, but isn't it a little . . . small?" 

"It's not too small for her." Waverly picked up Calamity Jane from where she sat on the coffee table to put the hat on her. Nicole laughed. 

"Of course, of course." 

"Hey, there's nothing wrong with matching." Calamity Jane wriggled out of Waverly's grip. Nicole caught the cat before she managed to get very far, however, and she firmly fixed the hat onto her fluffy head. "I bought it online the other day on a whim. Wynonna thought it was hilarious." 

"It is." Calamity Jane seemed to think otherwise, pawing at her ears that now lay flat under the hat's presence. "We might want to get it off of her before she tears it to shreds, though." 

"Just one second." Waverly dug her phone out of her pocket as Nicole gently held the cat in place. "We should get a photo." 

And so they did, two young women and a Stetson-wearing ginger cat immortalized in a shaky phone picture that would, years later, sit on their mantle and still elicit a chuckle every time either one of them looked at it. 

Right now, however, all they thought about was Calamity Jane springing from the couch to knock something over, the hat flying off, and the little apartment at peace.

**Author's Note:**

> these dorks will be the death of me i swear


End file.
